About 16 years ago, when my daughter was four, I lost my voice. I didn’t just lose it for a day or 2, or even a week. I lost my voice for three entire years. In fact, I went to doctors and specialists at the time who said, “You’ll never get your voice back. At the very most, we may be able to give you some sound if you take botox injections into your throat. But there are no guarantees,” they said. So, here I was, a mother of a young child who couldn’t yell!!

I joke but you can imagine the difficulty of living life without being able to speak. My voice would sometimes come out in a whisper, which would allow me at times to read stories to my little girl. I was a single mom needing employment. However, finding jobs where you don’t need to talk is more than a feat. I couldn’t be heard on a phone, let alone at the helm of any customer service desk. I couldn’t negotiate. I couldn’t participate at meetings….

One of my most painful memories was at my sister’s wedding in the year 2000, where the videographer passed the microphone to each person attending in order that we might share individual messages with the new bride and groom. You could barely hear me! I so wanted to share with my sister and brother-in-law on their day, that I risked the public display and did my best to FIND MY VOICE.

I went back to the specialists who told me once again that I would never get my voice back. They explained that this “kind of thing” just happens to people and nobody really knows why. What they explained was that the muscles around my vocal chords were tightening spontaneously, not allowing my vocal chords to vibrate which was required to make sound. The Botox injections ( which they said were really my only option if they even worked) would be administered through my neck via a long needle that had to strategically avoid the chords themselves and somehow reach the stiffened muscles beyond them. Botox they explained was actually a toxin from snake venom that in small doses could possibly relax the muscles. As you can imagine, there was great risk of permanent damage and I was not only un-intrigued, I was scared.

I decided that day that I was not going to accept their prognosis any longer. I, myself, was going to find a way to heal. That was the beginning. I went to an acupuncturist for awhile and I tried homeopathy. As I am a great believer in alternative modalities, I was disappointed when neither of these provided relief from my invisible, shaky, desperate voice. Later, I discovered that the answers lie even deeper.

Everywhere I went, if I had to speak, people would ask me if “I was okay”, even on the phone. Some people just assumed I was sick, laughing out loud, unknowingly saying, “You sound awful!” This was a constant and devastating reminder, especially to a woman who had once sung her baby to bed every night.

So, the next step turned out to be the most powerful one. In order to speak outward, I turned INWARD. And it is from this step that I present myself as a Life Coach to you now. I began to meditate which put me in touch with my inner knowing. Through prayer and meditation, I discovered two significant truths about myself that would unlock the door to FINDING MY VOICE again.

The first was that I had not been following or listening to my own INNER VOICE for a long time. I was getting up every morning and facing the day, but I had not been truly living. I had not been following my inner callings. In fact, I had forgotten they were even there. I had opted more than once to bury these quiet yearnings to be unearthed some other day, in the future, when I was “ready”. Funny that readiness day never seemed to come….or hadn’t I let it?

The second realization was that I was not using my OUTER VOICE to speak my Truth and share who I am and what I knew in the world.   At this point in my life, I had been studying spirituality and psychology for 10+ years both formally and informally. I had read every book on these subjects that I could find until the messages in each were repeating themselves and overlapping. Beginning after my divorce in 1997, I had attended the Awakened Heart School in Albany, NY since before it was on the grid. I was an avid enthusiast of the poet Rumi, and authors: Eckhardt Tolle( The Power of Now), Iyanla Vanzant( One Day My Soul Just Opened Up), and Michael Singer (Untethered Soul). I applied everything to myself that I discerned would help me. I learned, I grew, but I still could barely speak.

Instead, I remained doubtful of my abilities because I had never tried to use them. I was always a student, even when I could have stepped into Teacher. Until the day I decided to take those 2 truths I learned in meditation and prayer:   TO LISTEN CLEARLY TO AND ACT ON THE ADVICE OF MY INNER VOICE AND TO SPEAK OUT MY LIFE THROUGH MY OUTER VOICE. This simple but challenging daily commitment has changed my life in every way.

As soon as I made my initial promise to myself that I would use my voice in the world for greater good, my physical voice returned from nothing to about 50% usage. I committed to give Spirit and my Will the credit for my transformation. As I used my Will to overcome seeming mental, emotional, physical and spiritual obstacles, I became a stronger and stronger vessel of influence and change not only in myself, but also in those around me.

  • Today, I have a booming and beautiful voice again!
  • My daughter is 23 years old and is successfully completing her degree at RIT.
  • I received Psychosynthesis Life Coaching Training from the Synthesis Center in Amherst, MA, which is based on the work of psychologist Robert Assagioli.
  • I have guided others toward career change and development, relationship improvement, greater spiritual practice, and life balance.

What I’ve found is that we all have that something deep within calling us to grow beyond our current limitations or established boundaries of who we perceive ourselves to be. Living life fully is always picking up that phone and answering that call – not always in some grand sweeping gesture, but in increments with support.

That’s where I come in. I am a professionally trained Certified Psychosynthesis Life Coach which means I can partner with you in holding all the pieces – mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual – that you need to align to get you where you’re going. And you may not always know exactly where you’re going. We can assess the options and I can offer you inquiring questions that can help open up the space for some answers to emerge for you. In addition, we can work sensitively with those things that have held you back in the past. Sometimes we have one part of us that is on board with our goals and other parts of us that are not so sure. We can both honor and work constructively with these opposing forces. I assure you we all have them!   I will walk with you on the path of your life and I will help you develop a vision and then manifest it. Combining my personal experience and training, I empower men and women to let their Best Self Speak. In essence, I help you FIND YOUR VOICE – like I did.


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